blah blah blah...it’s Baz Synystra
Tonight
on this programme tonight,
hold on to your news helmets,
I’m Baz Synystra
and I am the news.
Headlines: A bad trolley from a Tesco
in Margate has infiltrated the local Chamber
of Commerce and run for election.
Just how will this affect the Margate whore scene,
or indeed the National Whoring Index
on this official month of Sundays?
Let’s talk to our man on the street, Aberystwyth Beijing.
Aberystwyth, what farts the news cow?
Well Baz, the trolley has run roughshod
over the rusting cattle-grids of local Government here
and declared itself Mayor in a small scale thrashing incident.
This man was confused by events.
He says the trolley burst into the Chamber this morning armed
and accompanied by his baying entourage.
One small street boy of three told me
that bits of bent metal can’t stand the heat.
Aberystwyth, what does this mean for the Margate whore?
Will she now lose her place in the Ivory Tower?
I ask because Sally Bumwhistle texts in from Croydon
with news of her imminent death.
Baz, sources say the Margate whore is well fed and content backstage.
Odds are a hundred to one she stays in
but the smart money is on fire at the town hall.
News just in with Baz Synystra- a pig has flown
on this month of Sundays to celebrate
the thousandth day of Celebrity Big Brothel
and in other news,
the economy is still burning around the world.
The IMF will be issuing marshmallows.
Good day and good night for those viewers
watching the repeats. I have been the news.
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